As I turn the corner to walk up the stairs with an armload of laundry, I glimpse a small flash of color. My youngest beams up at me as she inches into the tight space between the stationary desk and the stairwell. I know this game well. Feigning confusion, I look wildly around with a worried expression,
"Where is Ray Ray? I can't find her!"
With a triumphant smile, my toddler begins to shuffle out of the space.
"There she is!" I say, meeting her grin with one of my own.
We have made a home in NoVa these last five months. Though the pictures have not all made it up on the walls, the house looks settled. My heart, however, is not. I know that every transition is different. I can remember back to places where, even after three years, I was still not at home. This was a dark time. Other postings have left sweet memories of fellowship and close knit community. Still others left me feeling like I was not fully understood or known.
I realize that, in these places, how important it is for me to be known. Understood.
I want to be found.
In this season, I feel as if I am stuck in an anonymous place. I know this is not the truth. To be honest, it is during these times that I pray for God's perspective on my life, my situation. If I believe He is sovereign in all circumstances, regardless of whether or not I am in close friendship with others or active in using my gifts, then I can be confident that He is sovereign when my situation feels stuck.
At heart, I am impatient. My vision is myopic. I need the touch of the Father's hand to restore my vision- Lord, give me your eyes to see...
To see Your goodness,
To see Your provision,
To see Your abundance,
To believe that You have
And that is enough.